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Here are some quotes that I have heard from my friends. I think they are kind of funny.

Is there any real chicken in here? -- Steve Janzen

I thought I had something to say. -- Steve Janzen

Might as well just go for the jugular. -- Steve Janzen

I've got a bump on my head and I don't know why. -- Penguin

Anyone wanna get whipped? -- Kendra Duerksen

And a side order of verbal abuse. -- Steve Janzen

That’s after airfare. --John Guengerich

I can’t wash my car for two weeks --Jeff ‘Fud’ Yoder

I’m sorry, I’m a man --John Guengerich

Give me bacon and a woman and I’m a happy man. --Chad Weber

That was a great idea…until that one blew up.  --Russ Neufeld

That’s gonna get hot --Russ Neufeld

You could beat him with his own stick. --Chad Weber

Dude, why you rubbin’ your stomach? --John Guengerich

Did he say ‘get’ or ‘give’?  --Jeff ‘Fud’ Yoder

Like bologna juice.  --Chad Weber

Really? When I put my hands in my pockets I have three things. --The Ominous Pimp

I thought you were stripping. I was like ‘oh boy, here we go.  -- Kendra Duerksen

You come on. Let’s do it. -- Kendra Duerksen

I’m just that way with John.  -- Kendra Duerksen

If you fondle chicks, you might get rich.  -- John Guengerich

I just thought I’d keep it in the family, Russ.  -- John Guengerich

The bitch let us down. You gotta call the pimp if you want some action.  -- John Guengerich

Aieee. Aieee. Aieee. -- Kendra Duerksen

I just got violated.  -- Russ Neufeld

I didn’t know what was going on there.  -- Penguin

Dude, don’t tell me. Are we going to get drunk off of Mt. Dew?  -- John Guengerich

Here are some quotes from my professors at Eastern Mennonite University.

If you take the time to learn when you're copying from someone else, it's not all bad. -- Ervie Glick, German

Stay with the rhythm.  Can you dance?  -- Ervie Glick, German

I don't want to be accused of coercing students, just requiring. -- Ervie Glick, German

You have to say it like you're really turned on by this house.  -- Ervie Glick, German

That's an oxymoron--more moron than oxy.  -- Ervie Glick, German

When you’re in Germany, the best way to cover it up is to say it real fast. -- Ervie Glick, German

They didn't have much music in the 80's. -- Jerry Holsopple, Video Camera Technology and Production.

At least volleyball is a real sport, not just 9 guys spitting in the grass wishing something would happen. -- Jerry Holsopple, VCTP

Meanwhile, this room is ugly as sin.  -- Jerry Holsopple, VCTP

You just hope you can walk when you're my age.  -- Jerry Holsopple, VCTP

You think Job was sick, but it was just that he watched soap operas for three weeks. -- Jerry Holsopple, VCTP

I don't care if you use Boy Scout candles as long as it looks good.   -- Jerry Holsopple, VCTP

It's like when the little wine glass comes up in Windows. -- Joe Mast, Programming Languages.

That's not working...oh well, I just copied it out of a margin of a book. -- Joe Mast, Programming Languages.

I don’t want to have open discussion if we aren’t going to be here.  -- Joe Mast, Artificial Intelligence

Back when I was your age, we didn’t have TV, it wasn’t allowed. We read books and stuff like that.  -- Joe Mast, Artificial Intelligence

He always escapes…that’s his thing. --Joe Mast, Artificial Intelligence

In the past 15 years I’ve given up violence…and excitement.  -- Joe Mast, Artificial Intelligence

It might be rough on the cannibal because these guys (the missionaries) might gang up on him and try to convert him.  -- Joe Mast, Artificial Intelligence

We’re assuming here, the permanency of missionaries.  -- Joe Mast, Artificial Intelligence

If for some reason missionaries could evaporate, you’d need to leave that test in. -- Joe Mast, Artificial Intelligence

I guess I’m going to have to get pictures of each of you and put them up in my bathroom.  -- Al Keim, Issues & Values

I’m glad to know that I was benevolent once in my lifetime.  -- Al Keim, Issues & Values

Democracy is such a wonderful thing.  -- Al Keim, Issues & Values

I can think of several people I wouldn’t eat.  -- Al Keim, Issues & Values

We’re right by an exit. We’ll have time to get out.  -- Mary Sprunger, Issues & Values

This is a list of quotes by Nelson Kilmer, the Physics Prof at Hesston College from 1996-1997.

  • "Suppose you have a real sleazy spring."
  • "I have that trouble you know, sometimes I miss the whole thing." about golfing.
  • "Might as well have a whole bunch and have a party" air track
  • "Whoa look at those cheeks"
  • "Before we run the race we have to decide who is going to win"
  • "They used to have hands on them that go around like this--This is clockwise and this is counter-clockwise." on clocks becoming digital
  • "You'll have this Bang and Clang and everyone will say 'What happened' "
  • "You can't put everyone in the back seat and no one in the front....of course you need a pilot" on the center of gravity of an airplane
  • "I'm sure we're all familiar with springs, rubber bands, .... underwear.... " elasticity
  • "The guy who designed it is shaking his head, emotionally crushed, people are standing around, the Titanic goes back down... the ropes are gone.... "
  • "It's Friday, the papers are due, everyone's been up all night and is stressed" giving an example of stress in solids
  • "You definitely don't want to be outside of the porportionality limit, or you have to combat a bent wing"
  • "You hope they come back down" discussing airplane wings
  • "Male and femailes seem to have a greater attractive force. There seems to be some chemistry going on. Gravity doesn't usually factor into the equation."
  • "If you consider the gravitational attraction of the most attractive women on campus...It might not be a good idea."
  • "So Newton, by solving his gravitational problems gave a lot of people headaches by taking calculus"
  • "You don't wnat to get too close to the sun. You'll say whoa. No, you won't say whoa, you'll say 'Whoa is me' I'm done."
  • "Ben wants to stay at the YMCA.....well it's better than outside"
  • "You lose Bernoulli, of course you might lose something else."
  • "If you sit on a brass toilet seat in the Yukon, you'll find out its really high" Thermal conductivity
  • "This is more fun than board meetings"

Here is part of a story Nelson told about fishing in the Goshen Dam Pond.

"The bobber was bouncing.
The string was all over.
We decided the only way to
keep the thing in the boat
was to hit it over the head"

  • "Probably for a canadian that doesn't sound like a big fish, but for the Goshen Dam Pond, it is."
  • "Hang on Ben, you'll go for a ride." during a sring demonstration
  • "Fill this up, like putting bologna in a sandwich" on dielectrics in a capacitor
  • "A sandwich is better with bologna than just the bread, so it helps."
  • "When you have a doped semiconductor, you have an electron that tends to be a little loose.